Moving

Hi all friends and family who faithfully read this blog. :) After thinking about it for months, I decided to finally go for it--I launched a new home for our blogs. I consolidated this blog with our family blog and gave us some sleek new digs. I haven't finished fully formatting everything yet, but you can definitely still read the latest posts as well as access all of the archives from all three of our blogs in one place.

Just be warned, that in addition to my random posts about randomness that you are used to from this blog, you will also encounter many bits and pieces of our everyday lives, including lots of photos of my boys. :) Don't say I didn't warn you.

I know this is the right move for me--(it will certainly be easier to keep up with one blog rather than three) and I hope you'll travel with me to my new digs. I'm still working on updating all the categories and tags so that you can find specific posts. I'm also still working on a gallery for my photos of the day as well as photo galleries of the boys and other randomness. Bear with me, I hope to have both of those things done soon.

If you are reading this in a feed reader, please update it and join me at my new home at www.thedaringadventure.com

Gone Fishin'

Matt's Graduation

Give me a "Pee"!

So, two really amazing things happened today and only one of them involved Isaac peeing on me in public.

It was amazing actually. For two reasons. The first being his diaper was ON and it wasn't even full. It must have had something to do with the way his legs were wrapped around my waist, because I kid you not it shot out of his diaper and all over my shirt in the furniture store while we were consulting with a very nice design specialist over the wood tones of dining chairs. His shorts were not even wet afterward.

Other reasons why it was amazing: (okay, maybe there's more than two reasons)

I don't think anyone noticed.

My shirt was polyester so you couldn't tell by looking at me--only of course by smelling me. I'm really hoping that Marie concluded that the aroma of urine that she whiffed in my presence wasn't actually me. One can only hope.

The other amazing thing that happened today was that Jaska and I finally, for the first time in our married life managed to buy a piece of furniture-new furniture that is. The only other purchase of furniture we've made that could qualify as "new" was when we were newly married we bought our mattress from a guy who was selling them out of a storage unit. I know, but seriously it is still our favorite purchase to date. After traveling we can't wait to come home to our enormous, comfy, king size, ghetto-bought bed. Best $500 we ever spent.

Everything else we own by way of furniture is basically some version of sad. Either we made it, found it, or bought it cheap from someone else. I guess it's time. It's funny how after two kids, two cars, a real job and a mortgage, it's buying furniture that makes me finally feel like an adult. Seriously.

So what did we buy you ask?

This lovely trestle dining table from Thomasville Furniture. Except without the chairs, because we just like to shake things up a bit. :) Actually, we didn't like them. Which is just as well because they cost $2500. For CHAIRS people!

Poor Don our salesman was so sad we weren't buying the chairs. I tried to break it to him nicely that they just weren't comfortable (not the ones pictured, those were super comfy but too bulky for our DR).

So now at least we have a table. Or at least we will in a minimum of 4-6 weeks. :)

And props to Jaska, who was not only willing to come with me to go furniture shopping (EGADS!)--but was willing to BUY something as well. :) He didn't grumble once. He even wrangled Isaac the whole time-except of course for the five minutes when I was holding Isaac and well you know what happened then).

Just Checkin In

The boys are both asleep. In the MIDDLE OF THE DAY. I can't remember when this last happened. Has it ever happened? SO before I take advantage of it and tackle the cleaning and projects that desperately need doing, I thought I'd take a moment to say howdy to anyone who hasn't given up on me yet. Thanks for still checking in to see if I'm here. I'm pulling myself together and I know it won't be long now before life begins to mellow out a bit. In the mean time, here's a little tidbit to help you mellow out too. :)

I've been die hard fans of both these gentlemen most of my life.

Check Point

My brother graduated high school on Sunday. He's the last of a long legacy. My father and all six of his children attended the same high school. We've all got some pretty HI-larious stories of various teachers along the way that we love to dig out for occasions such as graduations. I'm sure there are many teachers celebrating the last of the Goguens. We celebrated too, but it was also a little bit bittersweet--and strange.

I think the only times I've been back to my high school is for my siblings' graduations--three after me. Each time has been a check point of where I am in my life versus where I thought I would be or thought I wanted to be. This time was surprising to me. As I sat there listening to the remarks of the valedictorians speaking about soaring above mediocrity and a whole wide world of opportunity, I realized something.

As much as I valued that time in my life where I had the whole wide world ahead of me and had my dreams to keep me company, I value more reaping the fruits of a path well chosen. Twelve years later, I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. There's no rest in site along this path I've chosen, but there's constant fruit to be had. There's constant vistas of staggering beauty and moments of humbling exhaustion and desperation. My life has never been more difficult than it is right now, but I've also never enjoyed it more. There's something to be said about giving your all to something, struggling and forging your way. This is my life and I'm giving everything I have and am to it.

I can't imagine a life more fulfilling than the one I am living. It's hard as hell, but I don't think it would be possible to appreciate it and love it as much as I do if it wasn't. It doesn't look a whole lot like the life I imagined for myself twelve years ago--but if I had it to do over again, I would still want to be exactly where I'm standing. That feels pretty good.

MIA

Hello friends. I'm sure you are all wondering what has happened to me. Rest assured, I am alive and well for the most part and I miss visiting your blogs, as well as writing on my own. I hope to return soon.

Sometimes, as I'm sure you've all experienced, life just hits you like a Mack Truck and it's all you can do to stay breathing above water. That's happened to us the last couple of weeks and I've been desperately trying to just hold things together. Which means no time for blogging. Or for anything else really.

I'm trying to get it together and jump on when I have a good day. Sorry if it's not that often. I hope you all are well and I'll visit when I can. :)

I'd Like To Visit the Moon

When I was a kid, I used to love falling asleep in the car. We lived in the boonies and so any place we needed to go usually took a while. I would stare out of the window up at the moon for miles an miles wondering about all kinds of things that were as big as the moon to an eight year old.

Sometimes I would still be asleep when we got home, and my dad would carry me inside to my bed. Usually though, I would wake up when we started getting close to our house. I could somehow instinctively feel the movement of the road and know where we were without opening my eyes. Right now we're on Corey Hill Rd. Now left on Lake. Almost home. I would lay there in the still dark, feeling the turns of the road with my eyes closed. Feeling my way home.

My parents have lived in the same house since I was six years old. After a while I guess the journey to and from it becomes a part of you, just like the home itself.

When our van pulled into the drive, I would pretend to still be asleep. Having my dad carry me to my bed was so comforting and felt fitting to my satisfaction of being home.

The spell was finally broken one night when I was long past the age of needing to be carried to my bed. As my dad was carrying me in, he said, "I know you're just pretending to be asleep Jenn. I don't mind carrying you into your bed, but I think you're a big enough girl now to do it yourself." I was a little sad, but I knew he was right.

Just one step of many out of childhood.

Jonah is currently making a friend of the moon as I once did. I wonder about the big things he thinks of while it rides with him until home.

I'm glad to have many more years before his arms are too big to wrap around my neck and his body too big to carry to bed.

"So if I should visit the moon
Well, I'll dance on a moonbeam and then
I will make a wish on a star
And I'll wish I was home once again
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I may go I'll be coming home soon
'Cause I don't want to live on the moon
No, I don't want to live on the moon."

written by Jeff Moss, performed by Ernie (Jim Henson)

Moms Rock!

Happy Mama's Day!

Thank you to all the fabulous mothers in my life--you are such a profound example to me and help me to be better than I would be otherwise.

It's late and so the much longer post I've had in my brain and didn't have time to write until now will have to wait. :) Sigh.

Instead I just want to give a shout out to all my mommy friends (and sisters :)

THANK YOU for what you are doing. From one who is in the thick of the poo, the puke, the "NO's" the drawing in walls, the sleepless nights, the kisses and hugs and cuddles and snuggles, I thank you. Thank you for being the wonderful moms that you are. Thank you for your ceaseless examples. Thank you for letting me whine when it's hard and not judging me when I don't do it well. Thank you for being honest, for being true and for being FABULOUS. I really feel like I'm a part of an army of capable, intelligent and loving women who are not only raising great kids, but helping to change the way the world looks at motherhood. I am so humbled and honored to be among such kickin' moms. :)

Here's a few of my favorite quotes on Motherhood:

"Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.” Jeffrey R. Holland, “‘Because She Is a Mother’,” Ensign, May 1997, 35


"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
-- Jewish proverb

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
-- Mark Twain

"Men are what their mothers made them."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

ALONE

The boys just got back from being at my parents' for the ENTIRE weekend. That's three days friends--of heaven.

Just me and my sweetie. Sleeping in until 9am, peace and quiet, holding hands during a window shopping stroll downtown, lots of great conversation, games, sleep, and did I already mention sleep?

It was the first real break we've had since Isaac was born and a blissful way to spend our anniversary. (Seven years, yay us!)

I would like to say that I cried when I dropped the boys off for the weekend. I didn't. I was a little sad, but during the two hour drive home what I was really thinking was "Sweet Hallelujah! I'm FREE!" :) I knew I was burnt out, but I did not realize just how burnt I was until about 24 hours later when I finally started having coherent thoughts again. It was amazing. I was all, "Welcome back brain, let's chat." And then proceeded to have uninterrupted thoughts for longer than I am going to tell you because it would be embarrassing. It was divine.

All weekend, Jaska and I reminisced about life before kids--"Remember naps?" "Naps? Oh, I used to love those."

And of course by the end of our blissfully alone, quiet and sleep filled weekend we realized we desperately missed our kids. Silly us.

All our reminiscing about the pre-baby days helped us remember that our time before kids was amazing and we enjoyed it fully. But it also made us realize that you can never go back. You can't go from having kids to not having kids and really enjoy it in the same way, because you KNOW what you're missing. As Jaska put it, "You're missing life."

And it's true--at least for us. They are our life. Yes, in many ways we've become slaves to our kids--it's sort of inevitable especially when they're so young. We give everything to them, while trying to cling to some part of ourselves that we used to have so that when our kids are grown we won't look at ourselves in the mirror and only see "Mom and Dad" instead of "Jenn and Jaska".

And yet, I'm not sure I want back the person I was. I'm not sure she is someone I really want to be clinging to keep. Traversing the rigors of parenthood has made me realize that I like this person I am becoming so much better.

It is because of the sacrifice, the sleep deprivation, the million readings of The Hungry Caterpillar, that I am who I am now. My boys have helped make me, ME. And they've made me better. A hundred million times better.

I am still maintaining my interests and my relationships as well as developing new ones, but I am doing it with more confidence, more compassion, and more creativity than I ever did before I had children. It's a surprising bonus that I never expected. I am not less than I was before I had kids--I am more.

Most of the time the focus is on them, as it should be. But every once in a while when we come up for air it's nice to see that losing yourself in your children--at least for us--has been a good thing.